First comes love, second comes marriage then comes mommy with the baby carriage..
What is it about timelines? It starts when you are little. Before you even learn to raise your freaking head! Before you get used to the idea that you’re alive! That these giant people taking care of you mean you well.
Timelines. When will baby giggle? When will baby roll over? Walk? Talk? Potty train… etc. etc. Goes on…where do you want to go school? What do you want to major in? Where do you want to work? Great you have a career, now…how about that spouse, picket fence, babies? It kind of angers me. If you don’t have all the things you are supposed to have at the appropriate time than you start to feel inadequate.
This conversation came to me twice this week. Once I was speaking with a very talented, funny amazing woman who feels like she isn’t where she should be. She has a great job, living on her own, graduated college…yet she is not married, she doesn’t have kids. Somewhere someone made up the timeline. After a career she should be married. Why? I have another friend who is very married…no kids in sight…yet everyone wants to know…where are those damn kids? Why do we assume just because you are certain age you must have accomplished a certain set of things? As long as one is happy who cares? And you shouldn’t care if you are married, single, talking the long way to college, living in a friend’s basement or have more roommates than pairs of socks. It doesn’t matter as long as YOU are happy.
If you are married and have decided, for whatever personal reason not to have children, why does everyone assume your life is going to be incomplete? What a bunch of crap. What, being a parent is the only way to have a fulfilling life? If you are thirty and single and no partner in sight why do people look at you with pity? You need a companion in your life to be happy? Says who? Why? Because that is the way it is supposed to be? Such a load. We are adults and can choose our timelines based on our wants and needs.
Again I say that if you are happy that is all that matters. And no one is going to be happy chasing after some stupid timeline. There are people who never get married, people who never have children, people with multiple marriages and multiple children. All within those groups of people are happy and miserable people. Being somewhere on some stupid timeline doesn’t make you, you. You make you, you, your energy, your spirit, your brain, and your soul. People need to stop focusing so much where they should be in life and start living it. And for goodness sake, let people live their lives they way that makes them happy.