Logic has nothing to do with it

 

I had a moment the other day. A big moment. Chalk it up to hormones maybe? My son started fourth grade. I posted the following picture on social media.

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That started the storm. Things went down from there. He started fourth grade which just so happens to be his last year in elementary school, I can handle that.IMG_7181

He is turning nine which happens to be the last single digit year, I can handle that. IMG_7180

He is getting too old to want to snuggle with his mother, I think I can handle that.

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He wants to celebrate his birthday without his mother, I just don’t think I can handle that. IMG_7172I just don’t think so.

I started thinking of all the adventures we used to do on his birthday. Aquarium was always a big one…or Chuck e Cheese or a farm…now he wants to go to a friend’s house?! Mind you, he is having a party with his friends the following weekend. I do this so that I can have a day with family and a day with friends. The birthday announcement was when I lost it. I spent 45 minute in the bathroom crying. I wish I was kidding. Okay maybe not 45 minutes but it was awhile. My husband came in calmed me down.

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Logically I know that him growing up and being more independent and wanting to do his own thing, is amazing. Logically I am proud of him and the way he is growing up. Logically I know that he can’t stay little forever and its wrong to want that. Logically, I know my role as a parent is to give him the tools he needs so that one day he can fly. The heart is not logical. In talking with friends about my meltdown and feeling comfort that they too have had moments like mine, I have decided that I too need to grow. I have to find things I like to do outside of being a mom. Here are a few ideas I came up with.

I can take classes. I am thinking I could be a good mime…or maybe clown school…

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I can become a ventriloquist and talk only using my dummy…

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I could become an extreme sport person…I hear bungee jumping is to die for

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Learn to play the bag pipes and play mournful music every day at 7:00 am

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Become fluent in pig Latin or some other language and speak only in that…

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Okay those things might be kind of crazy…things I might actually do…

Color – actually already started doing this. Don’t laugh it is very meditative.

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Volunteer or organize programs – there are a few community programs that I want to do and become involved with…now might be time to be more active about it.

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I could learn to crochet – this owl coaster is adorable!

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I could actually take classes…maybe cake decorating or go back to school…

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It is a wonderful thing that Cody is becoming more independent…that he has friends…that he feels comfortable enough to do things on his own. And thankfully, he does still need me…even if its only to tell him where he left his shoes.

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And don’t roll your eyes at coloring its very cool…

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