I have been pondering over how people change the last few days. People say they don’t change. Especially in arguments – ” I haven’t changed, you have.” “Your not the woman I married, not the sister I remember, not kid I raised” One would argue back, “No it is you that changed.” In my opinion both sides are right. Both people have probably changed. The difference is whether they have changed for the better, the worse, or simply changed in a direction that no longer works for the other person.
Speaking personally – I like to think I haven’t changed. I developed a personality early to compensate my lack of a pleasing physical appearance. I always figured, it is better to be nice than pretty anyway. But I have changed. I wasn’t always like this. Granted, I don’t think I have ever been a total dick. But I was young, I was more selfish than I would like. I was clingy. I would cling to people in relationships or friendships…always being whatever they wanted me to be so they wouldn’t leave. Of course, they usually did. There are friendships I wish I had second chance with, but also know that everything happens for a reason. I definitely don’t think I was a terrible person, but I could have been a whole lot better. I think because of this, I try to be a better person now.
People have to change. We go through huge things in our lives and each one, whether we realize it or not, leaves a lasting impression that shapes who we are. Every death, every new life, every job, friendship or relationship, we change. There is the you before kids and the you after. You before a big promotion and you after. Changing is part of life. So when we argue with someone about who has changed, really, we all have. The trick is to change for the better. Always striving to be a better person than you were yesterday. A better friend, a better parent, a better spouse, a better sibling. Most important, a better person to yourself. I read a message from Timber Hawkeye – great man get his books, and he said: The golden rule of treating others the way we wish to be treated ourselves makes sense in theory, but we don’t even treat ourselves very well. We knowingly consume what we know is bad for us, and we never spend as much time relaxing as we do stressing
I hold no regrets, I wouldn’t change the past. It is with the knowledge of how I was that has shaped me to who I am now. And why, even though I am sarcastic, snarky and generally have a…disappointment in humanity, I am still kind. I still try to bring a little light and color into my life and those around me. I encourage everyone to look back on their lives knowing there is no changing, there is no re-do, there is no way to take anything back. But to learn from it, to grow from it, to accept it. Start being the change. Start with your family, and move on to the rest of the world.