On the 15th my husband and I celebrate 3,650 days together…or ten years if you want to be boring about it. We have gone around the sun ten times together. We have moved states, towns, and houses. We have switched jobs and found careers. We brought a new life into the world. We have literally seen each other through sickness and health. We’ve seen each other at our worst and celebrated each other at our best. We have struggled, triumphed, and simply meandered through the last ten years, but we did together.
In every marriage or long term relationship I think there are times when you really don’t like the person. For whatever reason…their dirty socks on the floor, nagging about the lawn, differences in parenting styles…whatever the reason there is always going to come a time or two when you just look at the person and go “what the hell!?” However, there are more times when you look at the person and say “Thank goodness!” Thankfully these moments far out weight the “what the hell” moments. I have things I am thankful for after ten years together. Like:
There is no more embarrassment. Get chips all over your shirt, spill sauce on your pants, fart in bed, trip over your own two feet, run out of toilet paper and need them to come in and hand you a roll while holding their breath…nothing is off limits and nothing is embarrassing. My husband has seen a human come out of me…little gas isn’t going to faze him. I have seen my husband through the stomach bug more than once, little salsa on his shirt doesn’t even register.
Raising a person. I have so much respect for the people who do this alone. While I do take on a lot…(read running around town, staying home when he is sick etc.) I can’t imagine having to make decisions on my own, spend all night worrying over a fever on my own, even just going into his room at night and marveling at this little person, this perfect little being we created together, sleeping soundly and safely in his room. Being able to share those moments together is priceless.
Not going to lie, having someone to shake awake when something goes bump in the night is pretty awesome. Doesn’t happen so much now in our current house, but when we lived in a haunted apartment it was nice having someone willing to go get murdered with you.
Having someone love you at your worst. Having someone love you at your best. And not just love you but actually like you. Sometimes, I am not a likable person. Truly. Yet my husband stands by. I am no beauty but my husband thinks I am. Having someone that can see past the crap and really see you is something special.
Having a partner support you. We have supported each other through many things, education goals, career goals, life goals…it is nice to know that someone is rooting for you, someone is in your corner, even when you aren’t sure why you are standing there in the first place.
Having an opposite. For example, I tend to be over emotional sometimes, while my husband tends to be very stoic. We balance each other nicely in that way. When I get to wound up he is right there to ground me. When he needs to let lose and be silly, I am right there poke him in the belly.
We have been through a lot together too, as any long term couple has been. For example:
We have seen each other change careers – my husband used to install drywall. Now he is going for his electrical license. While I still work in an office, my work has shifted from construction to non-profit. We have supported each other in these endeavors. It has been so fantastic having someone happy that you are happy in your career path and encourage you when you need it.
On that note – we have seen each other through job loss and uncertainty. Boy have we ever. We have had cars that I wouldn’t trust in a demolition derby, eaten .25 cent pasta, been in debt, wondered how we will heat or cool the house…we have been scared and worried. We have done that together.
We have been sick together – from simple stomach bugs to actual mental illness. From headaches to arthritis. From sliced fingers and hands to broken bones. We have sympathized and helped in any way we could. We did it together.
We have quit smoking together and started exercising together. We have learned new things together. I could cook maybe three meals when we met, now he calls me “a good cook”, which means I am amazing and should have my own cooking show! Okay it means that I only slightly burn his food now, but a step up from hamburger helper!
We have thousands of memories and thousands of moments that stand out and shine and a thousand more that blend from one year to the next. We have argued, cried, laughed, celebrated, mourned together. We have almost thrown in the towel. Here we are though, walking into our 3,650th day together. Walking our next mile together. Whatever the future holds, we will greet it together.